It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
