I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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