During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail