I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.