alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
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my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
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There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor