Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.