Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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