be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
