If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize