So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
