I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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