I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
