we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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