I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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