When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
