i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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