I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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