I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
