the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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