The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
