in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What a dumb baby whore.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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