No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
