he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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