Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
