so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize