Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
