Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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