I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
