i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
