We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
