She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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