I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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