If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
