He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
