i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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