On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
