We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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