My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
