I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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