i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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