Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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