Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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