Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
