What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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