Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
