is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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