Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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