I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
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I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
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I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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