no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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