all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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