guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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