I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
