when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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