I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
