his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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