All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
