it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
