sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
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like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
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You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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