We're like a lot better than the average bears
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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