the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Pooping to opera.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
