So gin and wine won't be happening again
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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