perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
