Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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