she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
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The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
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I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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