tonight lets celebrate not being married
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
