I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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